


Let Me Go (Even if it hurts)

by Admyrallys



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, EXO (Band), Super Junior
Genre: Awkward Romance, F/M, Idiots in Love, Love Triangles, M/M, Past Kim Minseok | Xiumin/Lu Han, Possessive Lu Han, Slow Romance, ansgt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:28:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23207764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Admyrallys/pseuds/Admyrallys
Summary: Minseok couldn’t stay with luhan, not when he sees luhan together with sehun. Was he not good enough for him? Did he not show luhan that he loved him and would never hurt him why did he do this to him? Why couldn’t sehun just stay away after everything he did.Luhan had loved and had been betrayed by someone he thought that loved him but know he has someone like minseok who cares and loves him but he can’t help but take back sehun and start being friends again even after what he did. He knew it was stupid and he knew if minseok found out he would think something bad. Yet it was a temptation he could never escape as if sehun called for him, he went.Changmin has two side, the side he shows minseok and the others. Then there is his other side which he only shows her. Forgiveness is not given but earned he has learnt to forgive himself but, in the end, it won’t be full forgiveness if she doesn’t forgive him. Changmin lost part of his life with her and the rest now is slowly being taken by someone else, but can he choose between his Past love and his new love when time comes for him to choose.
Relationships: Kim Minseok | Xiumin/Shim Changmin, Shim Changmin/ OC, Uncertain Relationship Hoes
Kudos: 2





	1. Dive

Minseok Pov

I didn’t think loving you would be this hard. I knew that you had never forgotten him and probably never would, but I had hoped you would. Only a few days ago did I start doubting your love. I thought you forgot about him and that you were just friends, but love is blind and my love for you was blind. I knew all those times that you said that you loved me weren’t true, but I couldn’t help but hope that those words were true.

I started doubting you when I saw you with him hugging and holding hands.at first I thought it was probably because something happened or whatever but now doubts and questions are making their way into my head. What can I think if I find out you still love him and all I was a replacement for him? I know he hurt you so badly that even when he did you still loved him but I became your little rebound I helped you try to forget him but I guess I wasn’t able to make you forget fully about him and I’m sorry for that luhan.

Maybe if I leave and go away, you’ll be happy I thought as I ran towards our home and packed whatever I could need and called Chen to see if I could stay with him for a while. As I walked out of our home, I felt tears running down my eyes. I always thought love was something beautiful like how it was described in fairy tales, but I came to find out that it was all pure lies. I look back at the house we bought when we moved in together. As I stared at the house, I thought of all the memories that were made and what I was leaving behind.

I walk out onto the street and wait for Chen to come and pick me up so he can take me to his house. I look around waiting for him until I saw a red 4runner coming towards the house and I smiled and grabbed my bags. I move towards the car as Chen parks and walks towards me calling out my name. “Hyung here I’ll get that for you, you just get into the car. If you can" Chen said as he laughed and put my bags in the back of the car. Chen always managed to make me smile no matter what and I thanked him for that I thought as I tried to get on the car.

Why did this idiot get a car that’s so high up knowing how small I was? As I grabbed onto part of the seat to try and finally get onto the seat I heard Chen laugh and say "gosh Hyung your so cute and small how can luhan ever hurt someone as sweet as you" as he said that I looked down and thought that he obviously didn’t think of me as that. As we drove away, I looked back at the disappearing house and then I felt Chens hand on my Shoulder, and he squeezed it while saying that everything was going to be alright. I look at him and just say " I hope it is Chen because I don’t want to get hurt again".

* * *

Luhan Pov

As I made my way home, I thought about how I spent my time with Sehun going around the mall exploring. I know I shouldn’t be spending time with someone who hurt me, but I couldn’t help it. Kris kept on telling me it was stupid how I trusted sehun so easily and what if minseok found out about me seeing sehun what would he do or say. All these questions had been put in my head by that stupid duizhang.

As I walked to the front of the house I saw that the lights were off but usually minseok should be home by now so that’s weird I thought as I put the key on the lock and opened the door to come face to face with silence. The house was dark and silent as if there wasn’t anyone here. I walked through the hall and called out to minseok, but I didn’t get a reply, so I started walking towards the kitchen and bathroom to check if he was there, but he wasn’t.

Making my way to the bedroom I had a bad feeling because as soon as I walked inside the room, I was able to notice how it was devoid of some of minseok's stuff. I stared at the somewhat empty room in shock and surprised before I screamed as I thought of scenarios of what had happened to minseok and what could happen to him. I try calling him to see if he would answer his phone, but the phone immediately went to voicemail and I tried again two more times and once again it went to voicemail. Why won’t he answer me I thought as I immediately thought that maybe calling chen would be a good idea as he may know something about minseoks whereabouts.

I start dialing chens number when I received a message from sehun saying that he needed to meet me and that it was urgent. I don’t know whether to go and meet him or try and find minseok. Why was it so hard to choice who I wanted since minseok has always been there by my side to take care of me when sehun had hurt me and all sehun did was hurt me and now come back to probably ruin my relationship with minseok but why couldn’t I seem to be able to leave him?

God what was wrong with me I thought as I proceeded to send sehun a message saying that I would meet him in a few minutes. After sending the message I take to calling chen, but he didn’t answer my call, so I called again only to get the call denied again. Why weren’t neither of them answering I thought as I stared at my phone and walked through the hall. I feel my phone vibrated and look down to see a message sehun just sent me where he said he wanted to meet in the park near my house. As I walked out the house and towards the park, I thought about what sehun wanted and what had happened to minseok and where he had gone off to. Figuring it would be better to look for him only after talking with sehun I begin making my way out on the house, Grabbing my keys on the way out.


	2. Gashina

Minseok Pov

As I looked out the window I hear my phone ringing so I take it out of my jacket pocket and looked at the ID caller and when I saw who it was I didn’t have the guts or courage to answer. So, I just let the phone ring and being thankful that chen didn’t say anything about it. I looked at my phone again as it once again started ringing but no matter how many times luhan called I refused to answer. Turning my phone off and putting it in my pocket again and I tried to start a conversation with chen.

"So chen how have things been" I said turning on the AC. "Everything’s been the same Hyung nothing has changed" chen said as he stared straight ahead at the road. "Haven’t you found anyone who caught your attention" I said looking at him and smiling waiting for him to get flustered. I heard him chuckle as he said "not really Hyung, I may be interested in someone, but that person has someone already” he said letting out a big sigh. I stared at him for a while because chen may like someone but that someone probably hasn’t noticed him and that is beyond sad because Chen is truly a treasure as he has been a good friend to me I cant imagine why anyone wouldn’t like him.

"Then fight for them you never know if that person has been having trouble or they may also like you too even if they have someone" I tell as I fisted the air with a wide grin on my face and I could hear him laugh "thanks Hyung you’re the best and yes your right maybe I should try and fight for him" he said as he got out the car. I smiled and opened the door to get out the car hopping down since the car is really high up and all of a sudden I felt like all my worries were gone for this second as I moved to go after Chen and get my things.

I find chen as he gets my stuff and I thank him for being such a great Dongsaeng as we bring my things into his house. As we walk towards his house, I can’t help but think why I couldn’t have fallen in love with someone like him who would treat me good and shower me with lots of love. Maybe I shouldn’t be thinking of this because I know even if I want to love him because he’s better, I still love luhan and only him. I hear chen shout out "Hyung hurry up" as he was walking up to the house, I turn and run towards him so I can put my things down inside and get the rest later. Then a question popped into my head.

"So chen where am I gonna sleep in" I say putting my bags down in the hall leading to the rooms. "You can sleep in the guest room Hyung" he said as we walked towards the guest room and he showed me and might I say it was a really big room even for me. I thank chen as I go back and grab my stuff from where I left it. After getting my things I place them on the dresser and sit on the bed. I heard the floor creak as chen probably moved towards the bed and sat as I felt the bed sink down close to where I was sitting.

I felt chen grab my hand as he told me to look at him and he said "Hyung you shouldn’t worry if he truly loves you he will look for you and try to explain what is happening between him and sehun, so please Hyung try not to feel sad I don’t like seeing you like that so smile for me". I didn’t want to look at him as I felt tears begin to ran down my face I wanted to say thank you and so many other things for him being so understanding but all that came out my mouth were sobs and little sniffles as I felt chen pull me towards him and hug me tight while whispering comforting words.

I don’t know how much time he spent hugging me, but it felt like an hour to me as he finally let me go and told me to put my stuff away. As he walked out the door and closed it, I wondered how all this would end and how this would turn out and if I would still have luhan or will I be once again alone. As I laid my clothes on the bottom dresser, I thought about what luhan could be doing right now. Is he looking for me as chen said or is he with sehun? I know I shouldn’t be thinking about that since all that would do is make me sad, so what I did put aside my things and turn to walk towards the bed and laying down as I tried to fall asleep in order to get rid of these stupid thoughts. I don’t know how long it took for my mind to finally give into sleep but the last thing I remember was someone putting a blanket on me and kissing my forehead.


	3. Going Crazy

Lu han pov 

As I walked out the house thinking of what I was doing right now. Here I was going to meet my ex-boyfriend while my real boyfriend left and was probably gone. Yes, I know I’m probably a jerk for choosing to meet him instead of looking for my boyfriend, but can you blame me. This was the boy I’ve been in love with for so long that I’ve naturally become so dependent of him and still care deeply for him. Walking towards the park and looking for a guy with cotton candy hair and to find him was easy since he was tall and there weren’t many people here in the first place since its already night. I walk towards where he is sitting on the bench with his head down and I sit down next to him. 

"What’s so urgent that you wanted to meet me Sehun" I say as I turn to stare at the playground."h-hyung d-do y-you t-think t-that i-im s-stupid" sehun slurred out while facing me. as I turn towards him the smell of alcohol hits me and when I’m finally looking at him, I can see that his face was flushed, and his eyes were brimming with unshed tears. "W-what’s wrong sehun-ah" I ask him as I take in his horrible appearance from his messed-up hair to tousled clothes. " H-he left me Hyung, kai-Hyung left me because he said he didn’t love me anymore" sehun slurred out as tears started running down his face. Somehow seeing him like this reminded me of how I looked when he left me claimed the same thing kai did. What happened to me is now happening to him somehow like karma hitting but even though back then when I was angry at him and wished this happened to him, now seeing him like this I couldn’t help but feel sorry and worried for his health and mental state. 

Staring at his crying face I didn’t respond to him instead I got up and put my hand in front of him. "Come on sehun I’m not leaving you here alone. I’m going to take you home until you can go home by yourself not drunk" Saying this I pulled him up and put one hand around his waist. I half-dragged and half-pulled him in the direction of the mine and minseoks house. As we got closer to the house, I started to pull out my keys from my pocket and walked up the stair bringing a half-conscious sehun inside and shutting the door behind me.

I put my keys away and take of sehuns coat and threw it on the sofa that was close to the bedroom as I dragged him towards it. As we stood in front of the bedroom, I opened the door and opening it made me remember that minseok was gone but right now I couldn’t focus on that as I had to take care of sehun. I walk around the bed a lay him down on my side of the bed and grab the blankets and throw it over his body. I look at him for a while before proceeding to turn away to get some pills and water bottle for when he wakes up. As I’m walk back in the room and set down the things, I can’t help but extend my hand and reach out to touch his face.

God what was I doing to myself and to Minseok I thought as I turn and walked out of the room and towards the bathroom. How fucked up can this get with me bringing him here knowing how I still harbor feelings for him and knowing that minseok too knows how much I still love sehun, but he never says anything. I look in the mirror and shake my head turning to walk out the bathroom and heading towards the living room I plop down on the sofa and grab my phone from my pocket. I open my phone up to contacts and search for minseoks name, I needed to clarify things with him and know just where the hell he was. Yet as I’m dialing the call cuts off and goes to voicemail. So, I call a second time and this time decide to leave a voicemail.

"Hyung? Hello, I know I made a mistake and I’m sorry for that. So please let me explain everything I promise you it’s not whatever you think it is. So please answer me Minseok. I still may love him, but I care and love you way much more so don’t leave me" I say as his phone goes to voicemail. I stare at the phone before I pick it up and dial my best friend’s number. 

"Hey luhan-hyung what’s up" hearing Tao’s voice through the phone was the last thing I expected as I thought he was still in china visiting his family but whatever he isn’t the point. " Hey Tao, can you pass me to Kris if he’s their" I say as I twirled a piece of string in my hand. "Sure, Hyung just wait a little" Tao said as I heard him scream Kris name and a few minutes later a deep voice spoke through the phone. "So luhan what’s so important that you had to call me at what time is it oh that’s right 11pm!" He shouted and I flinched as one was hurt by his loud voice and two because I didn’t mean to bother him, but I just had to let everything that was bothering me out. 

" Look I’m sorry if I’m bothering you but I just needed someone to talk to okay" I sighed as I said this. "Oh god what did you do to him? I told you to stop seeing that bastard or that something would happen didn’t I and like always you never listen" Kris said as he too sighed and I knew even if I couldn’t see him right now he was also shaking his face but one thing that caught my attention was that I hadn’t told him that this involved both minseok and sehun. 

“wait how do you know it involves minseok, Kris? Do you know anything about him and where he is? Tell me! “I shouted as I felt anger well up in me. Thinking that my own best friend knows and had decided to just hide this both hurt and angered me but mostly it was anger. 

"Do you really think I'm going to tell you luhan, I think both of us know I’m not telling you. Minseok deserves someone good and if you obviously can’t let that sehun guy go then you don’t deserve him. Look luhan I’m just looking out for him; you know what he’s been through. He has loved you since we were kids, he suffered in silence because you didn’t love him back but then he leave and comes back to find you alone and he takes his chance.do you think it’s fair for him to stay with you when you still love sehun tell me luhan" Kris said as he hanged up on me.

As my anger took over me I throw my phone across the room as I felt the anger radiate through me but at the same time I couldn’t help but feel that in some ways he is right, would I really want him to suffer more than he already did? Or did I want happiness for him even if I had to let him go.

No! My minds screamed at me, I couldn’t and wouldn’t let go of him and no one will keep him from me no matter what. I won’t let anyone take him away from me. Even if it may hurt him for a while he will stay by my side and love me and only me no one else I thought as I lay on the couch. Minseok I’m never letting you go even if you leave, I will find you because you are mine I thought as I fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Whats Gucci Children? So like this is a reposting of one of my old stories that I am taking up again after years of leaving it behind. Excuse the Grammar or spelling errors bc I am still shitty at that. But anyways take care and be safe with how things are going I hope everyone can be good and Healthy.


End file.
